and after the sugar rush comes the crash

Gag me with a spoon ladle.

I read New Moon.

It’s like she read Wuthering Heights and said, “Gee, those two kids aren’t nearly angsty or psycho enough; what can I do to add to that?”  Also she decided to portray them in a more “romantic” light by adding a thousand and one positive (or purple-prosaic) adjectives to the tale.  And she’s not so good at the subtle paralleling Romeo and Juliet, either.  (I always hated that story because the kids were far too impulsive for their own good.  And I had no patience for those who would romanticize them because they die.  What is the point of making a grand romantic gesture when it ends in death?  I fail to understand.  What, you’re punishing the people you’re leaving behind?  Uh… great.  Now what?  Are you happy, in your vindictive afterlife?)

Ugh.

Excuse me while I go throw up.

I have very little patience for her stubbornness and her inability to pull herself out of the moping.  SMeyer tries to make her sound heroic, cast her in a sympathetic light for all her suffering, but it just makes me wish I could reach into the book and throttle her.  I don’t blame any of her “friends” for refusing to speak to her.  (Poor, puny mortals with your normal lives and your average human qualities.)

Jacob is the healthiest of all the characters that she’s written.  (so far; I hear has a weird personality transplant in Eclipse.)  But honey, as the brilliant cleolinda puts it,

(Jacob, give up. Also, any guys somehow reading this: sometimes, girls get fixated on guys, to the point where they’ll drop whatever they’re doing, whoever they’re with, to run to them. Give up on those girls. If they can’t collect themselves and make that choice to stay with you, they’re not ready to treat you with any kind of respect. I’m saying this from an observer’s experience here.)

yeah.  It’s sad but true.  Don’t waste your time.  Somebody worthwhile is bound to notice you; don’t spend your time bashing your head against a brick wall.

also, she ties in WH very well.

[Jacob is] far too good and normal for her. Notice how she can’t even pay attention to him? It’s because she’s exactly like Cathy Earnshaw–she can’t function unless she’s got Heathcliff to bounce her angst off. (Have I ever told you my theory that Wuthering Heights is not romance but actually horror, about two emotional sadomasochists who lay waste to everyone around them, using them as pawns in their own personal war of attrition? Because, I mean… that’s pretty much the whole theory. ~The More You Know~)

It makes me sad fills me with frustrated bewilderment.  The whole “I’m not worth your love” angst that Bella has, Edward’s inability to understand how she could believe him when he lied to her face, and let’s not forget my favorite part: how she just kinda went “oh well I still love you let’s just forget anything bad ever happened” and got annoyed with her dad for being normal and a father…  yeah.  This is what I want my kids to read/model.

Update: I’m sure you’ve heard of this by now, but somebody brilliant compiled a checklist showing that Bella’s relationship with Edward is across-the-board, categorically abusive.

 

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