Public television fail

I have many issues with the educational policies of our government.  (We’ll save those for another time.)

But it looks like now they’ve taken their toll on one of my favorite programs as a child!

(Yes, I do hope the song gets stuck in your head.  It’s a great show!)  :)

Oscars

I watched them while dying, so I’m not adding a witty commentary, except to say the following:

I pretty much adore Jennifer Aniston and Anne Hathaway, and think everything they do deserves an award.  ”You got dressed today!  Here’s a shiny bald gold man!”  (yes, even including Bride Wars… only because I identify maybe a little too much with her character.)

And Hugh Jackman?  Please call me.  Your future (wedded bliss) is waiting.
What?  You say he’s happily married?  To his first wife?
Ah, well.  (There are good marriages in Hollywood.  I do believe!)

Grammy’s

anyone watch them?  anyone?

U2 played a phenomenal opening with “Get On Your Boots.”  I don’t know why they are so incredibly awesome.  I think it has something to do with the fact that they hail from the UK, and they will most likely live forever and make beautiful music until the end of time.  I can’t think of a time in my life when their music wasn’t playing as the soundtrack to my life.  (Some of that is retroactive editing of my memories, but that’s because they belong in my head.)

One of the most amusing moments followed directly after The Awesome, when Whitney Houston (looking absolutely fabulous, btw), came onstage and tried to make a sexy funny by slyly commenting, “I should’ve worn my boots tonight.”  I think her pose was the best part.  She stuck her leg out of the slit in her dress, and waited for the howls and cat-calls.  …and waited.

Clearly everyone was in shock at how good she looked.  That’s why there was muted applause.  (All kidding aside, I do love her and think she looks fantastic.)

The Rock was quite painful, yes?  (I don’t know why I want to like him, but I’m constantly confused and disappointed when he fails so very much.)

JT + Rev. Al Green + Boyz II Men + Keith Urban = a pretty amazing (cover-up?) moment.  Really.  I loved it.  (and how cute was JT?  you could practically feel the glee he was exhibiting at singing with the Rev.)  Here’s a clip for your enjoyment as well:

Sugarland: your acceptance speech was awkward, not cute.  We know Paul was in the audience.  And Blondie, please cut down on the caffeine.

Kid Rock: what are you wearing on your head?  It looks like you killed a turtle and made his shell into a hat.  Also, no.  sorry.  you are not the rock-and-roll Jesus.

Taylor Swift: you’re tiny and young and I think I would be a total fangirl were I a teenager at this point in time.  also, can I just say that I love the shape of your eyes?  Seriously, they’re perfect.  If I could pick eye-shapes, they’d be yours.  (I know that sounds odd.  I’m okay with that.)

Miley Cyrus: stop yelling into the mike.

JoBros: you’re cute and adorable, and the way in which you awkwardly ran around stage reminded me of a baby horse lurching about.  I want to carry you around in my pocket.  But have some respect for your musical superiors!  ”Come on, Ste-vay!” is not a good way to introduce the Wonder unless you make a big deal out of him at some point either before or after the song.  (See JT for a perfect example with his intro of the Rev.)

Adele: I don’t care how sweet and British you are, (and believe me, you are) but for the love of God, spit out your gum before making an acceptance speech.  Thanks.

Jennifer Hudson: I want you to win every contest ever, just because of the way you truly seem to appreciate each new award.  (Give her more!)

And there we have it, folks.  A somewhat brief, certainly spastic rundown of what I watched last night.  (Here’s a full list of who won, in case you care and haven’t looked it up for yourself yet.)

Well, that and HJNTIY.  But more on that later.  (Teaser: Justin Long’s kiss might’ve made me start to hyperventilate.  No joke.)

short and sweet

Dear American Idol,
Thank you for keeping Jamar Rogers and Danny Gokey together.  Nothing warms my little cynical heart more than seeing two guys in (what appears to be) a solid friendship.  I love them, and I hope they go far.

Dear Simon,
Seriously??  Bikini Girl comes onstage, and you turn into a gibbering idiot.  I normally dislike Kara, but in this case, I completely agree.  Bikini Girl has no talent and actually, she’s got very little sex appeal.  She looks like a female version of Gumbi.  Don’t make me lose all respect for you, please.

Dear Fringe,
I love you.  Please don’t ever change.  Or run out of ideas.
Also, don’t kill the chemistry between blondie-girl and son-of-frankenstein.  We need it.  (Best quote of the night?  Bishop: “I like to cut.”)

Dear DTV box converter thing,
You are the best thing that happened to our little cable-starved apartment so far.  I have no idea how you work, but I know that I love you, too.  No more rabbit-ears!

Letters

Dear Alfred Hitchcock,
I love you, you sexist, arrogant genius.
-an unwilling devotee

Dear January,
Please leave the poor northeastern US alone, and come back to us in California.  We need you.  We have temperatures in the mid-80s that need to be kicked to the curb.  And we really cannot handle another wildfire.
-meteorologically-misplaced girl who should go live in Sweden

Dear producers of CBS,
Please fix your game plan for the internet.  What you’re offering at the moment is just sad.  I don’t want “clips,” nor do I want “dialogue between _____ and _____.”  Offer complete episodes for free on your website, because let’s face it, we can get them elsewhere.  It’s just a hassle.  I’d love to be able to get my ____________ (Criminal Minds, CSI:NY, NCIS, The Mentalist, Without a Trace, Eleventh Hour, etc.)  fix, but I haven’t watched these seasons at all because my schedule’s odd and your website could use a lot of help.
-annoyed and hoping you step it up because NBC is slaughtering you

Dear Mark Wahlberg,
I have such high hopes for you.  I don’t really know why, because the only thing I can remember loving you in was The Italian Job, and let’s face it, you’re no Orson Welles.  But come on.  Planet of the Apes?  Shooter?  Max Payne?  I see great things for you!  Why do you continually choose such terrible movies?  Get a new agent!
With love (and an open invitation to both you and your biceps for a long and happy life with me)

Dear insane woman driver,
No, a red light does not mean step on the gas.  It also does not mean that you are allowed to act annoyed and flip me off for being in the right of way.  Thank you for narrowly missing my car.  And please have your child put in therapy.  He clearly needs it, having been exposed to the colorful and inventive language you chose to scream out the window as you went flying by.
-concerned (and thankful to be alive)
p.s. You are not a soccer-mom, and you are trying too hard for the title of MILF.
p.p.s. we would also suggest therapy for yourself.  you clearly have issues.

Dear Apple,
It’s been over seven months, but I am still on my honeymoon.  I love you.  I promise I will never stray.
-with homage

Dear chinese food,
Why do you hate me so?
-death

Finally.

There’s nothing like a good, relaxing weekend.  I haven’t had one in… months.  I’m usually running around, trying to catch up on everything, or am driving back and forth between cities to see friends and family.

But this weekend has been just great.  A friend and I went to brunch at the cutest little restaurant in Old Town, and wandered around the little shops for a while.  I even found a few books I’ve been looking for!  I took some time to clean the apartment while the other roommates were gone, and made cookies.  I love being little Suzie Homemaker, as long as I don’t “have” to do it on a regular basis.

Now I’m settling in to enjoy a marathon of LOST!

That’s right.  I’m a very late convert.  I knew that I wouldn’t be able to “handle” waiting for each weekly installment of the show, so I decided to wait until the first season was out, so I could watch it all at once.  Then when Season One was out, I figured I wouldn’t be able to handle the inevitable cliiff-hanger between seasons, so I’d wait until season 2 was out.  Now, four years later, I’m finally watching them from the beginning.

And may I just say, I automatically love Kate and Tom?  Wow.